


L'Odalisque

by un_petit_peu_de_moi



Series: Day by day [8]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst in the middle, M/M, aborted smut, and fluff at the end because that's the only thing I know, communication is important, forcing yourself, sometimes you try things out and it doesn't always work and also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:23:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/un_petit_peu_de_moi/pseuds/un_petit_peu_de_moi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both wanted it, and they wanted it now, and forgoing preparation couldn't be that bad, could it?</p><p>(Neymar had always thrived to please Leo but it had never been an issue until now.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	L'Odalisque

**Author's Note:**

> Right, read the tags? It's not smut, and not full-fledged fluff either, but that's something I've always wanted to write, ever since I wrote Neymar for the first time and thought, 'well, he's a bit too pliant isn't he'  
> I don't know how people are going to react to that - some may not like it, some may not read it, some may be disappointed, but that felt important to me, so here it is.
> 
> (Also, while I the word odalisque has the same meaning in French and English, here it's also referring a French song named L'Odalisque, sung by Claire Diterzi)

Sometimes – most of the time – it was kisses and caresses, light touches and pleading moans. They took their time, and Leo didn't indulge Neymar until he was already a wreck.

 

Some other rarer times, they were hurried, hasted, kissing like there was no time, yanking clothes off as though they didn't cost anything, not minding their teeth and leaving bites everywhere, a messy hand down Neymar's pants and speedy fingers up his ass.

 

This was one of the latter occurrence. There were no reason for it – they hadn't won game, they hadn't missed each other. Yet they'd start kissing and suddenly it wasn't enough to quench the thirst, not enough to satisfy them. They'd kissed messily, all the way to Neymar's bedroom, hindered by Neymar himself who kept pushing Leo against the wall to kiss him better. Neymar didn't need a bed – he'd lie on the floor, lean against the wall, it was all fine as long as Leo was with him, around him, inside him.

 

As it was, Leo kept pushing him away every time Neymar cornered him against a wall, and he laughed a bit, but Leo's hands were as hurried as his own, and they soon found themselves in Neymar's bedroom. Neymar let himself fall on the bed, dragging Leo's down in his fall, and they immediately set off to unbuckle each other belts.

 

Neymar pulled at Leo's shirt and jeans, but both refused to come off. Leo moved back to take them off and Neymar took this time to do the same, stripping naked. Leo still had his underwear on and Neymar pulled on the fabric to draw Leo to him again.

 

“You could- take off- your socks,” Leo said in between kisses, while Neymar was busy rocking into him, rubbing his cock against Leo's toned stomach.

 

Neymar didn't answer, slipping his hands inside Leo's briefs to take hold of his dick. Leo moved back, grabbing Neymar's legs and bending them forward so he could take Neymar's socks off himself and Neymar laughed loudly.

 

“You need to sort your priorities!” Neymar wrapped both his naked calves around Leo's waist, flushing their bodies together again.

 

Neymar managed to sneak a hand down again, freeing Leo's dick from his underwear and Leo let it rub against Neymar's stomach.

 

Leo kept a hand on his nape, not allowing Neymar to move back, and he extended his other hand out. Neymar felt Leo search around and he knew what he was looking for – the drawer, the lube. Neymar groaned.

 

Times like these— times like these preparation was frustrating. Neymar felt ready, always ready, and getting through the process of being fingered always seemed so unnecessary. He could take the burn, he could take the stretch – he did take that frequently, and he loved it.

 

Neymar grabbed onto Leo's arm, pulling it back towards himself.

 

“It'll be fine without,” Neymar whined against Leo's lips. “Just do me, take me like that, you know it'll be fine.”

 

Leo hesitated for some seconds, looking into his eyes, and then a smile spread on his lips and he went back to kissing him hastily. He grounded down onto Neymar harder and there was a new spark of excitement inside Neymar. It would probably stretch more than usual but it was new and Neymar was suddenly eager for Leo to just fuck him on the spot.

 

He ran his fingers through Leo's hair during the kiss, several times until it was disheveled and messy, strands sticking in every directions. One of Leo's hand had slipped under his body, cupping his ass and Neymar moaned breathily. _Enough_ , Neymar pushed on Leo's shoulders.

 

Leo grabbed his thighs to bend his legs and slid them over his shoulders. Leo looked down, watching as he guided his cock to Neymar's ass. There soon was a pressure against his entrance and Neymar felt a familiar apprehension fill him, his breathing quickening. The press was increasingly insistent, but Leo had yet to push it in and Neymar looked up to see him frowning.

 

“I don't think it'll enter like that...” Leo whispered.

 

Neymar tried wriggling down but to no effect and he repressed a sigh of disappointment, “Use spit then.”

 

Leo nodded and spat into his palm, stroking his dick a few time to coat it and when he pressed his dick against Neymar's asshole again, this time the rim seemed to give.

 

Neymar grabbed Leo's head, flushing their bodies together and Leo set on pushing his whole shaft in.

 

It was slow. Excruciatingly slow because of course, Neymar wasn't stretched at all and Leo's dick wasn't sliding in easily. Neymar was too tight for Leo to shove everything in at once, and Leo had to settle for pushing slowly against his muscles clenching.

 

Neymar could have done without this excruciatingly slow penetration because if he was honest with himself – and he was – it was incredibly painful.

 

Neymar hadn't felt that much pain since the first time he took it up the ass actually. His body seemed to be fighting against the intrusion without Neymar's consent, and he felt _so_ stiff and tense. Leo felt too big, and the more he pushed in the bigger he felt, and Neymar didn't feel like he could really take any more.

 

He stayed silent, biting his lips and gripping Leo's hair, waiting for Leo to be fully in. Leo seemed to hesitate, frowning in his neck, and Neymar bucked up his hips to tell him to keep going – and had to repress a wince as he did so.

 

Leo moved back, which was actually nice, and went back in again, derisively faster.

 

It wasn't stretching so much as tearing apart. It cut Neymar's breath away, and Neymar gripped Leo's hair, trying to hold onto it because it felt so painful he wondered for a second if he could pass out.

 

There were tears of pain prickling Neymar's eyes and Neymar felt stupid.

 

They'd done this hundreds of time before, and Neymar wasn't supposed to feel pain – not like that. He didn't remember ever feeling pain like that – Leo's dick didn't feel like it belonged here at all, Neymar's whole body tight around it trying to push it away even though Neymar was supposed to be relaxed and eager.

 

Leo was thrusting in and out a bit more confidently but it still was far from swift and quick, because Neymar was too tight around him for Leo to move any faster. Neymar still felt Leo frown in his neck – of course he'd notice something was off. Neymar didn't let Leo move his head, both arms wrapped around it, keeping Leo's head from lifting up.

 

“Neymar--- you're too tight. Maybe we should use lube, or--” Leo seemed to have trouble breathing, and Neymar wondered whether it was because of arousal or because Neymar was too tight and he was crushing his dick.

 

 _Shit_ , he hoped he wasn't crushing his dick.

 

“It's fine,” Neymar muttered, gathering what was left of his wits so his voice didn't sound as pitiful as he felt.

 

Neymar briefly considered sneaking a hand between their bodies, jerking off, to alleviate the pain, but it was already too late for that – his dick had gone soft. Thankfully, their bodies weren't completely touching, Leo hunched over his frame, and Leo had yet to notice Neymar's lack of arousal.

 

He tried to relax. Think about Leo's hands on his hips, how they felt strong and firm. Think about Leo's dick, how it was thick and beautiful. Think about Leo's hair soft under his hands and Neymar had to keep himself from gripping them too tight lest it were painful. He ended up thinking about kissing Leo – Leo's warm breath against his lips, and chapped lips against his own, and maybe a tongue licking his own. Kissing Leo was relaxing.

 

Kissing Leo was relaxing but Neymar didn't want to free Leo from his hold, because he was certain his eyes were teary and his lips were sealed tight because he didn't want to whimper out loud. Leo didn't need to see that, and Neymar felt so --- he felt so stupid.

 

He didn't understand why he couldn't take it when he did so many times before. Why he reacted so strongly – sometimes the first push in did hurt a bit, but not like that, not so much, and the pain was supposed to pass pretty quickly but it hadn't passed yet and he was completely unable to keep his body from being so _stiff_.

 

He didn't even think using lube would help. It might slide in better, but Neymar would still feel too tense and tight to take anything at all. And it made no sense, _it made no sense_.

 

Neymar felt useless. He didn't know why, but it mattered, and it seemed so important to be able to take this, to be able to take anything. If he could get used to it, that would be so great, both for he and Leo, but his skinny, weak body didn't cooperate at all and Neymar felt useless.

 

Leo thrust back in, harder than before, and Neymar couldn't suppress a whimper.

 

Fuck.

 

“Neymar?” Leo inquired and he tried to move back in his hold, trying to see Neymar's face.

 

Neymar instinctively tightened his arms, forcing Leo's head against his shoulders, and there was no way it wouldn't tell Leo something was off if he hadn't already noticed.

 

Leo tried to move back once again and Neymar kept holding him down, childishly almost, just desperate for Leo to stay there and down, suddenly confident he'll be able to take anything anyway and there was no need to worry Leo for nothing, no need for Neymar to be in so much pain, no need to be such a drama queen, honestly--

 

Leo didn't struggle, let Neymar crush him for a second, then he pushed back suddenly, rising on his elbows and there was no way Neymar's weak arms could do anything if Leo put his all into it.

 

“Neymar--” Leo was frowning when he met his eyes, and then he looked surprised and before Neymar had the time to do anything, Leo pulled out of him.

 

Neymar whimpered again and his legs dropped on the bed. Leo was still over him and Neymar covered his eyes with his hands – maybe if he didn't see, Leo would go away and be nice enough to forget Neymar's failure.

 

“What the hell, Neymar,” Leo sounded disbelieving, and angry. Neymar clenched his eyes shut under his hand, trying not to think about how his ass stung and burnt.

 

“Neymar,” Leo repeated, and this time he took Neymar's arm, pried it away and held both of his arms down next to his head.

 

Neymar kept his eyes clenched shut until he was sure he wouldn't start crying, and then he opened them, blinking a few times before meeting Leo's eyes. Leo's hands tightened briefly around his wrists when their eyes met, and then Leo opened his mouth but Neymar beat him to it.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

Leo searched his face for several seconds, “sorry about _what_?”

 

It sounded dangerous, for some reason. Leo looked on the verge of being angry. He was looming over him, holding him down, and there was no way for Neymar to get away from it.

 

 _How rare_ , Neymar thought, usually Leo was fond of not talking things out.

 

Neymar thought his best bet was not to answer anything, and after some seconds Leo talked again, looking agitated.

 

“Are you sorry about not telling me I was hurting you? Or are you sorry you felt hurt at all?”

 

Neymar looked helplessly up at Leo.

 

“Neymar.” Leo urged.

 

“I--- I'm sorry,” he repeated before he had the time to stop himself.

 

“Fuck Neymar,” Leo looked angry now, “Are you out of your mind?” Neymar started answering but Leo cut him off, “if the only thing you have to say is 'sorry' then _don't say it_.”

 

Neymar felt his chest tighten, and the only words he could think of were apologies, but Leo's eyes were so hard on him he almost had trouble breathing.

 

“I'm just, I'm sorry because--,” Leo looked at him sharply but Neymar kept on, “I just don't want to make a big deal out of it, you know? It's, it's nothing.”

 

“It's nothing.” Leo repeated, “You forcing yourself is nothing.”

 

“I wasn't forcing myself--”

 

“Then what do you call it? Not telling me I'm hurting you and actually _keeping me from_ knowing I'm hurting you. What was that, if it wasn't you forcing yourself?”

 

“I thought the pain would pass.”

 

“And if it never did? Would you have let me fuck you until the end without telling me anything?”

 

Neymar didn't have anything to say to that.

 

“Fuck Neymar. That's nothing if not forcing yourself. _Why would you do that_?” Leo still sounded angry, but now there was an added edge in his voice – desperation.

 

It sounded like a real question. Leo was looking at him, expecting answers, and Neymar--- why had he done that? Because he didn't want Leo to stop, because he felt stupid not being able to take it and he didn't want Leo to know he couldn't take it.

 

“I can't help it, I just-- I always have the urge to… to please you.”

 

He couldn't look Leo in the eyes anymore, and he stared at a point past Leo's shoulders, a spot on the ceiling that were as white as the rest of the ceiling but if Neymar squinted he felt like it might be a bit brighter after all. Leo's breath had stopped when he answered, and he finally heard him exhale loudly.

 

He thought that wasn't the type of things Leo liked hearing, wanted to hear. He knew Leo wasn't asking to be complimented, praised or loved all the time, but Neymar couldn't help it, he wanted to be good, to be worth it all the time and he couldn't help trying to give as much of himself as he could.

 

When Leo finally talked again, he sounded weary and tired, his voice low and barely above a whisper, “And why did you think it would please me to hurt you? Do you think I enjoy the idea of hurting you?”

 

“Well,” Neymar said dryly, “you weren't supposed to know it was hurting me.”

 

Neymar didn't have any other words to describe Leo's eyes but pained. Leo dropped his head against his shoulders, and he was shaking a bit.

 

“Jesus Neymar,” his voice came out strangled, “that has to be the shittiest thing you've ever done.”

 

That stung.

 

That really _really_ stung. Whatever he did, Neymar always thrived to please Leo and be good for him, and that was so far away from pleasing him it was almost laughable.

 

Neymar wriggled a bit, trying to free his arms to either pat Leo's head or hug him, or do anything that could make Leo feel better. Ideally, make Leo stop talking and they could both ignore what happened and start anew and that would be all fine.

 

Leo's voice came out shaken against his shoulders, “You can't do that Ney. Force yourself for my sake. For what _you think_ is my sake.”

 

Leo's weight was completely resting on him now, hindering the movements of Neymar's heaving chest. Neymar still couldn't move his arms, pinned down next to his head by Leo. Leo was breathing heavily against him, forehead resting on his shoulder, and Neymar didn't have any idea what he could say that wasn't a _sorry_.

 

“I'm sorry,” he said nonetheless, voice small and high. Leo tensed against him and Neymar was quick to resume, “I'm sorry, I won't do it again, okay? I won't.”

 

Leo took one deep, shaky breath in, “I feel like shit.”

 

Neymar didn't need Leo to say that to realize it, but hearing these words still made him want to cry or throw up, or do anything that wasn't hurting Leo, hurting someone he supposedly _loved_. Neymar wasn't used to feeling guilty – Neymar assumed his mistakes when he did any and he didn't hold grudges against himself but the feeling burning his stomach right now was nothing if not guilt.

 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I really really am. I won't do it again.” Neymar tried to free his arms a bit more desperately, tugging against Leo's hands, “I'm so sorry Leo, I'm so sorry, I--”

 

“I don't want you to apologize,” Leo mumbled against his skin, his hands tightening around his wrists to keep them pinned, “I want you never to do that again.” Leo lifted on his elbows, staring Neymar down, “For you not to force yourself and to tell me when things are too much, that – that's what I truly want.”

 

Leo didn't say it but Neymar heard it nonetheless, _'that's what would_ _ **please**_ _me'_.

 

Neymar nodded vigorously, and he rushed promises out, “I won't, I swear I won't. I'll tell you things, anything, I promise I won't--- again,” all the while struggling against Leo's hands, desperately wanting to touch Leo and hold him against him lest he left.

 

Leo finally let go of his arms, but before Neymar had the time to do anything with them, there were two hands holding his head and Leo was kissing him softly. Neymar's eyes fluttered closed, and he let out a long whimper in Leo's mouth, fiercely wrapping his arms around Leo's body.

 

Leo murmured against his lips, “I know I'm not very good at talking, but I'm trying you know? You need to try, too.”

 

Neymar nodded, lifting his head to catch Leo's lips again.

 

They kissed like that for a while. Leo kissed him lazily, and Neymar kept trying to deepen the kiss, desperate to get as much of Leo as possible, to confirm everything was fine. The dread in his stomach slowly transformed into that warm fuzzy feeling he often got around Leo, the one that was nothing but pure worship and admiration, the one that drove him to please Leo above anything else. Probably the one he should be wary of too, but also the one that sung ' _I love him I love him I love him_ ' in his head.

 

Leo finally broke the kiss, a thread of saliva between their tongues before Leo moved his head back and let it fall on his shoulder, sighing.

 

Leo's fingers were absentmindedly caressing his sides, causing a chill to run down Neymar's body. They were both completely naked, and Neymar suddenly felt cold. He also felt Leo's soft dick pressed against his thigh, and he wondered when Leo even got soft in the first place. He'd barely noticed it, and he felt guilty for it, but he could feel his pulse inside his ass and that wasn't a very natural feeling - he wasn't getting it up anytime soon.

 

“Then I'm beginning now,” Neymar looked up at the ceiling as he spoke, and he felt Leo stirs against his shoulders, paying attention, “telling things, I mean.” He turned his head to see Leo look up at him curiously. He turned his head back to the ceiling, “I really like your dick.”

 

Leo pinched his ticklish side and Neymar whimpered, “What, that's the truth!”

 

Neymar batted Leo's hand away as he kept trying to pinch his skin wherever he could reach. “Don't--- When someone gives you a compliment, you're supposed to do the same.”

 

Leo managed to reach his nipple and pinched it, earning a yelp from Neymar. “What, I'm supposed to say I like your dick too?”

 

Neymar rubbed his nipple to soothe the pain, “ _Well_ , if you want to.”

 

Leo stared up at him for several seconds, “...Let's just sleep?”, he finally said, and he started settling against Neymar ignoring Neymar's shout of indignancy.

 

Leo buried his head against his neck and Neymar felt a wide grin against his skin.

 

“Sleep, Neymar,” Leo said when he realized Neymar wouldn't stop wriggling to accommodate him.

 

“It's 3 in the afternoon.”

 

“That's the perfect time for a nap.”

 

“You always nap. Every day. Is that why I keep ditching my friends for? Naps?”

 

Neymar had a sudden moment of regrets when he remembered he'd more or less ditched his friends to have sex, and that was also his fault they weren't having it. Leo, _of course_ , didn't say anything about it.

 

Instead he said, “Yes,” and Neymar felt him close his eyes.

 

Leo fell asleep pretty fast, and Neymar listened to his breathing slow down, feeling soft puffs of air against his neck. Leo's body was almost completely over his, and it was a bit heavy, but also comforting, a warm human blanket that kept him grounded.

 

He'd made himself go through such an emotional roller-coaster today, and Neymar wasn't sure how he'd manage to comply with Leo's request, because he was completely unable to depart himself from the sheer need to _please_ , but he trusted Leo, and he loved him so fucking much that he was also willing to try.

 

Leo moved a bit against him, burying his head deeper to shield his eyes from the sun, and Neymar though he loved him so much he could cry.

 

**Author's Note:**

> There. Wasn't as depressing as it could have been because I can't end things on a bad note, but anyway. I'm glad that's done. After all, I thrive to build a nice relationship between the two, and that also means they both need to learn to communicate, so yeah.  
> Anyway, next part will be much lighter. Actually next part will be cheesy as hell, it's not even funny.


End file.
